Yay! Happy 2009!
I never have been one for 'making New Years resolutions'. They have usually been half-hearted attempts to eat healthier and exercise regularly. This year, I'm taking a different approach. The transitions in my life over the last year or two have been dramatic. Don't get me wrong, I have many lucky stars to thank. I finished my Ph.D without hurting myself or any university officials. I have also had time to reflect on what I really want out of the 5 to 10 years. I don't have anything tangible to show for this progress, but I understand how precious it is..... to have found my purpose.... I'm thankful, but I have also hit some speed bumps. Amidst the transition I have felt insecure, uncertain and afraid- afraid to put myself out there and trust that I have what it takes to do these things. I no longer wear the grad student hat and until this past year I had no idea what that meant. It meant that no matter what else was going on in my life, I had direction, a goal- to finish my degree. Now I have a clean slate, debt and a real inability to find a full-time job that I thought would fall into my lap at some point. The truth is that now I feel like the real work begins. I remember a professor saying that "grad school was the easy part, it's being productive and successful after grad school that really takes determination".
So here are my resolutions or my structure-creating, self-imposed directives:
- Spend less time on the internet- I didn't realize how reliant I am on my internet until the power went out during the arctic blast that hit Portland a couple of weeks ago. Immediately after it went out, my thoughts went straight to my computer. My heart rate increased and at that time I realized I needed to start cutting the cord. This will be hard since I am in love with my Macbook!!!
- Actually start the consulting business that I have been hypothetically creating in my head- I don't need to have a steady client stream or an office with a water cooler, just a tasteful and functional website with clear descriptions of what I have to offer. To start out: dementia and substance abuse in older adults. This should be plenty to keep me busy for a while.
- Run a half marathon- I already picked a race in July. Now I need to step up and do it.
- Work on being less stubborn- Being stubborn has served me well in the past with school, work, etc., but not lately. I need to let some things go and not think that I 'always know'. I need to step back and find some peace in the chaos that is the universe. I do not have control and while that is difficult to say, I need to start living it. By far, this is my most challenging goal.
- Become a real estate and mortgage specialist- I would really like to get into a place of my own...... sooner than later.
- Pay more attention to my spiritual health- I have read several books and had experiences with meditation that have been inspiring. However, to actually commit to a daily and/or a weekly time to do this is very difficult. I NEED to make this a priority.
- Prepare my dissertation for publication- After not getting the support I was looking for from my major professor, I realized this will be a solo effort. Again, my insecurity is screaming at this one!
Well I think that is enough for now. Looks like I have my work cut out for me.